A cake party is an American gathering centered around the eating of cake. Derivatives of cake parties include birthday parties, weddings, and orgies.

General RitualsEdit

Cakes for cake parties are prepared before the actual cake party event. The cakes are decorated in vibrant colors using a fatty sugar-based substance known as frosting. These give the cake an sweeter taste and stimulating appearance.

Cake parties present the cake with elaborate trinkets or candles. This is followed by their removal and a cutting of the cake, after which, it is served to guests. The guests may feel bloated and full after consuming multiple slices of the cake itself, a condition preventable with self-control.

Health HazardsEdit

Cake is inherently dangerous, loaded with sugars and fats that may result in obesity. Obesity is a leading cause of heart disease, potentially causing death. Death is an irreversable physiological condition affecting the nervous, cardiovascular, and muscular systems of the body, preventing them from operating. Cake causes this. Look at what your cake will do.